


What's in a Name

by addyrobin



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 13:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5668423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addyrobin/pseuds/addyrobin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bull loves his job, but he has had it up to here with the new intern who seems hell bent on spelling his name wrong at every opportunity he can. It's time to take some action.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's in a Name

The new intern at Skyhold Corp was trying very hard to piss him off. Of that, Bull was certain.

 

For three weeks he had sent emails to the Vint asking him to correct his nametag. For three weeks the intern, Dorian, had promised that _this time_ he would fix it.

 

And every single time that he had received a new nametag in those three weeks, it had come back to him as ' _The Iron Bill_ '.

 

Bull was about ready to tear his hair out, hair he didn't even _have_ , when he opened his seventh set of nametags. 'The Iron Bill' glimmered back at him cheerily from the plastic bag that held the tags, in bold golden letters with the Skyhold Corp logo to the side. That was the last straw for Bull, who picked up the bag and marched to the elevator with newfound determination. If Dorian wouldn't stop, Bull would take things to the next level...

 

He stormed past Ms. Lavellan's secretary, Josephine, without so much as a word. The woman bristled at that, leaping up from her chair and darting in front of the door before Bull could open it.

 

"Excuse me, the Iron Bull!" Josephine said firmly, her usual polite tone replaced with anger. "You know you are required to speak with me before you see the boss. She is a busy woman, and you cannot simply expect to--"

 

Bull held up the bag in front of Josephine's face in answer, his face tight with displeasure. It was impossible to miss the spark of amusement that flickered across Josephine's face as she read the name, but she covered it up skillfully by clearing her throat.

 

"I see," she said patiently, a hint of laughter in her voice. "Your nametag issue _has_ been rather persistent. Eliya is available, but please, next time I insist that you check with me before rushing into her office." Bull grunted his affirmation, attempting to be polite despite his annoyance, and Josephine nodded. "Thank you." She turned and knocked on the door, smiling when an answering call came from Eliya.

 

Cracking the door open, she poked her head in. "The Iron Bill- uh, _Bull_ - would like to speak with you," Josephine said, barely hiding her laughter. "You have a moment, yes?"

 

"I do. Thank you, Josie." Eliya blew her secretary a kiss, and Josephine blushed but pretended to catch it all the same. Bull rolled his eyes affectionately before stepping inside, waiting for Josephine to shut the door behind him before moving to sit in front of Lavellan's desk. "So! What can I do for you, Bull?"

 

"The new intern is either a complete idiot or hell bent on getting on my nerves, and I'm not sure which." He set down the bag as an explanation, and Eliya - less composed than her girlfriend - laughed aloud.

 

"Oh, no. Again? Isn't this the..."

 

"Seventh time? Yes," Bull groaned, pushing the bag towards her. "You're the boss, boss. Can you please talk to him? I know you have better things to do, but..."

 

"Hush. You know I can always spare a moment for you...Bill." Eliya hooted with laughter at Bull's sour expression, shaking her head. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I promise, I will talk to Dorian about his spelling issue. I'm certain this is all just a big misunderstanding  - you know how autocorrect can be..."

 

"Yeah..." Bull finally smiled, standing up. "That's all I needed. Thanks, boss."

 

"Anytime." Eliya smiled and reclined in her chair a bit, picking up her phone. "You go on ahead. I'll call him now, and your new nametags should be done by next week."

 

* * *

 

" _The Iron Chad._ "

 

Now Bull _knew_ it was deliberate. Even with direct orders from the head of the company, Dorian had decided to fuck around and do _this_ to his nametag.

 

Having already given up his 'Bill' tags, Bull had been forced to become 'the Iron Chad' all day. It earned him no sympathy from his coworkers, and Sera and Varric in particular couldn't seem to get enough of his new identity.

 

"How's it going, _Chad_ ," Varric quipped every time he passed Bull's desk. The only thing that kept Bull from grabbing the dwarf and throwing him like a football was a sense of professionalism. As for Sera, she had taken to drawing Bull on post it notes and captioning the doodles with various other names in place of his real one - 'the Iron Todd', 'the Iron Jeff', and so on.

 

It was the last straw for Bull when she danced into his cubicle and delicately placed one in the center of his screen - an almost perfect sketch of his head, captioned with 'the Iron Rick'.

 

Bull stood up from  his desk and slammed his mouse down, only feeling a little guilty when all of his coworkers jumped at the noise. He was going to confront that stupid intern about this once and for all, and he was _going_ to get some answers, damn it! With a newfound vigor, he stomped past Sera all the way to the elevator, mashing the button repeatedly until the doors opened. The human girl inside looked like she might faint at the sight of him, scurrying out of the elevator as soon as he stepped in. He pounded the down button with his finger and leaned against the wall, seething as the elevator slowly descended.

 

When it finally signaled that his floor had come, Bull had to keep himself from prying the door open with his bare hands. He knew Dorian didn't like him - most Vints didn't - but this was going too far. The doors slid open painfully slowly, and Bull marched out of the elevator at last to find...

 

Dorian the intern, standing right in the hallway with a cup of coffee in his hand. "My, my," he said warmly, leaning against the wall and smiling. "Have you _finally_ decided to pay me a visit, the Iron Bull?"

 

That took the wind out of Bull's sails, and he came screeching to a halt. "...you...you know my name?"

 

"Of course I know your name." Dorian rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you honestly thought I was misspelling it so plainly?" Dorian clicked his tongue impatiently, walking towards Bull. "But I've finally gotten your attention. Took you long enough."

 

"I... _what_ the hell are you talking about," Bull finally said, staring down at Dorian with confusion. He wanted to be angry, but...Dorian looked so pleased with himself.

 

"I've been asking you to come down here for weeks!" Dorian said, sounding astonished. "I ended every email with 'please come visit me on the second floor so I can better assist you'. I assumed perhaps after the third time you might get the message and come down, but it took me turning your name into _Chad_ for you to finally appear." Dorian snorted. "If I had known it would be this difficult to get you here, I might have made the next one 'the Iron Please come to the second floor so I can ask you out on a date'. Not certain the machine would print that one, though. Perhaps a bit too long."

 

"...all of this. All of the nametags were your way of _flirting_ with me?" Bull's rage was gone entirely, replaced with utter disbelief.

 

"No, asking you to come down to my floor was me flirting with you. Or _trying_ to, but you never came! And coming up to your cubicle was impossible, since that Vivienne woman refused to let me past the door. 'You don't have the qualifications, darling.' Bah. Qualifications my _ass_. So, I persuaded _you_ to come to _me._ And now here we are, flirting." Dorian smiled prettily, raising an eyebrow. "And, well, I've put my effort in. Perhaps you can finally ask me out on a date now?"

 

"I..." Bull, caught off guard, nodded slowly. "Do you...want to go on a date, Dorian?"

 

"I would _love_ that!" Dorian beamed, and Bull felt his stomach do a flip. For the hell that he had put him through, Bull couldn't deny that Dorian was attractive - and persistent, if he had worked this hard just to get Bull out on a date. Before Bull could think to say more, Dorian pushed a business card into his hands, smirking. "My number's on the back. Pick me up at eight on Friday...don't be late, _Bull_."

 

Dorian gave him a wink and then glided away, Bull following him with his eyes. Shit, if he had known the kind of attention it would get him, Bull would have started misspelling his name _years_ ago.

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea at 2AM in the morning and decided it would be a good idea to get it out of my system. It started as a oneshot, but the ending seems open ended enough that I could add more. If I ever do make an additional chapter or two, it's...likely to end in office sex. So hey! If you're into that, stick around. Also, I was made aware that it's impolite to tag minor ships in a fic because it clogs your tag, so I apologize Lavellan/Josephine shippers! Didn't mean to, I won't do it again.


End file.
